Much talk has been taking place about sex education in schools. It seems a blurred vision on the part of the government as well, as it proposes to withdraw such education from a couple of states.
With the highest number of HIV positive people in the world, in the age groups of 15 – 25 years, can we still say that we don’t need this education? Our policy makers are only indulging in an ostrich attitude.
Its time to face the subject headlong. The question that bothers us all is ‘when ‘do we start giving this education and ‘how much’.
Today, a child reaches the age of puberty between 9 – 11 years as compared to 12 – 14 years, which was a decade or two ago. Here again it’s not just about the biological aspect, making them aware of their sexual characters, reproductive organs and their functions.
Such knowledge is no doubt imperative but as our children step into these crucial years, what disturbs me the most is how their innocent girlhood and boyhood is lost at the hands of such ‘ beasts of prey ‘ who are seen lurking mostly in one’s own families – uncles and older cousins.
Yes, you guessed it right. I’m referring to Child Sexual Abuse, CSA. Ratio of victims of this menace is alarmingly high and rarely do they come out in the open to talk about it. They are ‘our’ children.
Here, I would like to share a book named “Bitter Chocolate”, written by Pinki Virani, which deals with Child Sexual Abuse in India. It says, “In Bitter Chocolate, journalist and best-selling author Pinki Virani, travels across the country to record the testimonies of the police, doctors, child psychologists, mental health professionals, social workers, lawyers and the traumatized victims themselves."
The book opens with an account, brave and devoid of self-pity, of the author’s own experience. Going beyond blaming, she proceeds with her insightful analysis of the issue in three notebooks.
The first spells out what constitutes CSA, why and how this happens, its devastating after effects which haunt victims as they grow into adulthood. The second notebook describes these effects through two real life stories of women who were betrayed as children by men of their family. The third provides practical solution on how to counter CSA including a framework involving the law, the parent and their child.
A special chapter addresses adults who have never before disclosed their sexual abuse as children. Plus: a nationally coordinated helpline.
“Accessible yet comprehensive, Bitter Chocolate is written for the young parent and guardian, principal and teacher, judge and police, lawyer and public prosecutor, teenager and tomorrow’s citizen.”
With the exposure and freedom our kids are getting today, thanks to our liberal media, sex education can hardly be restricted as a school initiative. Majority teachers suffering from inhibition are only too embarrassed to discuss the issue candidly. The result, very little information is imparted which is actually no information.
Our children need the sex education. We have to empower them. Take the onus upon yourself as sensitized parents to make your child aware of the ‘safe’ and ‘unsafe’ touch. We will get embarrassed and uncomfortable. But don’t flinch. We need to make a choice today for our children’s sake, lest we repent later.
Thank you, Divya, for taking further this discussion that started in educatorslog.in on the issue of sex education with the elog - Sex Education in Schools - how to deal with the taboo.
It takes courage to even bring up topics like CSA and write about them. These are issues people don't feel comfortable discussing with children. Ideas such as the suggestions in the book should be useful. I will try and get Bitter Chocolate and also recommend it to my teacher friends to use in school.
You are right, sex education should start at home, with parents, and not just rest as a responsibility on the shoulders of schools. Educated parents can do it, but think of all the children of uneducated parents in India who can only get such education from their teachers in school - uneducated parents end up filling their children's heads with all kinds of nonsensical ideas of childbirth and such. Knowledge of safe sex, HIV, sexual abuse and other related matters can only be imparted properly by educated teachers in such areas of our country.
The sad irony is that sex education will end up getting introduced in urban schools where the children have the benefit of educated parents anyway, and get banned in schools in less developed areas where it is most needed.
I like your use of the phrase "don't flinch"!